Reason #1 -The people who control the weed, do not smoke the weed.

As I sit and listen to a stock market show that has Bruce Linton on as a guest, I can’t help but feel a little sad about how legalization has sterilized the pot industry, especially in Canada. Linton was the kingpin of Canopy Growth. A guy who has never smoked weed in his life. Certainly, his counterpart at Aurora, Cam Battley, has never consumed cannabis. Battley is the self-proclaimed ‘squarest guy’ in the industry. And normally this wouldn’t even bother me, but it weed we are talking about here, not widgets. It’s far more personal. These guys weren’t part of the club, not ever, and now they are in control of the clubhouse? I just don’t think these guys can really relate to their customers.

Now if I am an investor, I probably want a guy like Linton or Battley running the company I’ve invested my money into. They know how to build companies and therefore build my net worth. But weed shouldn’t be on the stock market in the first place. And these guys should be selling computers, not my precious weed. This is the first reason cannabis is failing in Canada.

 

Reason #2 -They Are Making Weed Boring

The bureaucrats have officially taken the fun out of weed. Now it’s only about the money. Billions and billions of dollars changing hands in accounting departments and boardrooms of the legal dispensaries and licensed grow factories. The government is right there too, taking their cut at every step of the way. And the insider politicians and enforcement types, who were privy to the plan early on, are now filling their pockets with cannabis money and buying new themselves boats.

So, where does that leave all the regular people like me and you? If you were smart enough to buy some cannabis stocks early on, and then sold them when they peaked last year, maybe you made a decent buck or two. But you had to have had money in the first place to do that. I’ve been smoking weed for 40 years, and I can’t remember getting high with many really wealthy people. I don’t think weed was their thing, it being illegal at the time. It just wasn’t worth the risk.  Weed is used more at the grassroots level, I think. And I mean that in the nicest way too. Those of us who buy weed are probably some of the nicest people there are in Canada. Rarely have I met a stoner who wasn’t polite as fuck, and usually giving to a fault. I think this is because sharing is something stoners practice. It’s part of the weed culture. Just like the peace sign. And peace.

I already miss the hippies and beaded doorways and black lights and Cheech and Chong. Weed used to be fun. And now it’s not. Now…. it’s just beige. This is reason #2 why legalization is failing in Canada.

 

Reason #3 – I Already Miss the Black Market

Overpackaged cannabis with weird strain names that someone just made up this year is ridiculous. Try to buy some ’71 Maui Wowie from a government dispensary. It aint going to happen. What you will get is some dry popcorn-like weed that is hardly appealing unless you’re a 10-year-old kid that’s never seen good weed before. It’s embarrassing what they are trying to sell us. A pre-roll cost my friend $15 dollars the other day. Sure, he got high, but I am telling you, that I can grow that same joint for 0.10 cents any day of the week. And that is Reason #3 I hope their system fails. I miss the black market already. The black market has been here for us since day 1 of prohibition, right up until today. They took the risk for us. And now the government wants us to turn our backs on the people who actually cared about us. I find that a hard pill to swallow. I am going to support my local black market for as long as it is around. That’s the solid thing to do.

 

Reason #4 -The Head of the RCMP sells weed now?

I mean c’ mon. The ex-Head of Drug Enforcement for the RCMP, the guy who says he put 1000’s of people behind bars for smoking weed in the past, is now on the Board of Directors for one of the new corporate weed companies? But my buddy, who sold weed for 20 years can’t get into the industry because he has a record so he can’t come in the new legal system? OMG! Doesn’t anyone see the hypocrisy here? It’s so wrong it’s not even funny. The government has taken the cannabis industry and have made it so they are the only ones who can play in the game. This is Cartel stuff 101. If you thought South America was bad -get a load of what’s happening right in your own backyard. Canada, we look so stupid right now. This is Reason #4 why legislation needs to fail in Canada

 

Reason #5-There is fuck all we can really do about it.

Am I the only one that is pissed off at the way legalization has been handled? Surely there are some of you who can relate when I say it gives me a queasy feeling in my gut when I think that the same people, who for years made my life a constant struggle to not get busted, and who threw my friends and family members into crappy jail cells for consuming pot, are now making a huge buck off of the sale of weed. I know it’s wrong, but what really sucks is that there is nothing I can do about it either. The government is this huge machine with deep pockets and if they want to control cannabis, then that’s what is going to happen. There is nothing any of us can do about it. Not cool and reason #5.

 

Reason #6-They Treat Us Like We Are Idiots

It feels like the government is treating us like we are idiots with their silly warnings and lame attempts at disguising their real intentions behind legalization. Protect the children. Pfhht, Ya right. The children have been safe the whole time. I never heard any stories growing up of a bunch of children dying because of weed. It doesn’t happen. The kids are fine. The government thinks we are idiots that can’t put our jars of weed away and that we leave our babies to run around and play in our weed stashes while we are sleeping off a cannabis bender.

How many children do you know of that were hurt from getting their hands on weed before legalization? ZERO. How many people got injured or sickened from black market weed before legalization? My guess is it’s a pretty low number. And in the times when weed was involved in some serious tragedy or death, I am betting that alcohol was present there as well and probably played a more significant role in the situation.

The fact is that the consumers of weed in Canada are not idiots. We know how to hide our weed from our kids at least. Hell, we learned how to hide it from the cops for over 100 years, so we got pretty good at it. We can choose to not drive stoned. Oh wait, we might have to because the government won’t allow delivery.

What I am saying is that the people that use weed are not dumb people. They arent the criminals the government wants you to think they are. They are us. They are you and me. Let that sink in for a second. If you buy a gram from a friend who grows weed, just like you have for 15 years, you are still a criminal. That’s how legal weed is now. SO maybe they are right. Maybe we are idiots for letting this happen. Either way its reason #6 on my list.

 

Reason #7 – If It’s Legal Now, Why Are We Still Getting Busted?

Today I read a news story about a guy in Manitoba who got pulled over in a traffic stop and they found a few pounds of weed in the trunk of his car. Guess what? Busted. That doesn’t sound like cannabis is legal. The real truth is that nothing’s changed a damn bit.

 

Reason #8- The list of former cops and anti-pot types who are now selling us weed is HUGE!

Here are 20 of these fence jumping characters who are now making a killing from the legalization of weed.

  1. Chuck Rifici -Former CFO of the Liberal Party of Canada and a founder and former CEO of Canopy Growth Corp. and Tweed Marijuana Inc., the country’s largest licensed producer.
  2. Mark Zekulin -President of Canopy Growth (also the company’s legal counsel) and former senior adviser to ex-Ontario finance minister Dwight Duncan.
  3. Norman Inkster -Former head of the RCMP and now Independent Director at Mettrum Health Corp, which was acquired by Canopy Growth on January 31, 2017.
  4. George Smitherman -Former Minister of Health is an investor and director of licensed producer THC Meds Ontario.
  5. Ernie Eves – Former Ontario PC leader and premier now Chairman of Timeless Herbal Care
  6. Julian Fantino – Former Conservative MP, OPP commissioner and Toronto police chief, is pushing pot as executive chair of Aleafia Inc., a Vaughan-based referral clinic.
  7. Joshua Tepper – President of Health Quality Ontario, which guides health policy in the province and Independent Advisor to Mettrum.
  8. John Reynolds – Former Reform and Canadian Alliance MP and current advisor to Vodis Pharmaceuticals Inc. Says he’s never smoked pot and doesn’t want to, which should tell you all you need to know about why he’s shilling for Big Pharma.
  9. Senator Larry Campbell -Former RCMP officer and Vancouver mayor, the independent senator now Advisor to Vodis.
  10. Mike Harcourt -Former BC premier and mayor of Vancouver now Chair of True Leaf Medicine Inc.
  11. Herb Dhaliwal -Former Vancouver MP and federal cabinet minister now Chair of NG Biomed
  12. Kash Heed -Former BC solicitor general and former chief constable of West Vancouver police department. Headed up drug squad with Vancouver Police Department now a strategic consultant with licensed producer-hopeful National Green BioMed
  13. Cam Battley -Former legislative assistant to the Minister of Consumer and Corporate Affairs now appointed COO for Aurora Cannabis.
  14. Neil Belot -chief business development officer for Aurora Cannabis Inc.and Former public servant in several ministries within the Ontario government.
  15. Jake Ryan -Former RCMP Intelligence Officer and federal criminal investigator now Director of Security for B.C.-based supplier Tilray.
  16. Barry Daniel – Former Abbotsford police chief now an Advisor to B.C.-based Wildflower Marijuana Inc.
  17. Joe Oliver – Finance Minister and Minister of Natural Resources now Chairman of PlantExt
  18. Raf Souccar – Souccar, former RCMP deputy commissioner who spent decades on the force, is Fantino’s business partner. His current role is president and CEO of Aleafia Total Health Network.
  19. Derek Ogden – Ogden is the former head of the RCMP’s drug squad whose new job is president of National Access Cannabis
  20. Bill Blair – Former Toronto police chief now a Liberal MP as well as the party’s point person for heading up weed legalization.

 

Reason #8 – Corporate Weed Doesn’t Care About You.

They didn’t have your best interest at heart before legalization. So why do you think they have it after legalization? Of course, they don’t. It’s about money and greed. Weed should be free if you really want to know the truth. Every house should have an aloe vera plant and a weed plant for home remedies.

 

Reason #9 – Even Gene Simmons of KISS is in on this now.

The fattest pig at the trough, can’t resist the smell of big easy money. So much so he renounced his old position about weed and now says he’s has been enlightened. Now weed is good he says. What a joke of a man. That guy will sell out his children if he could make a buck off of it. Oh wait, he did. What a sellout. KISS sucks now too. Just saying.

 

Reason #10 – I Don’t Want to Drink My Cannabis

I don’t want cannabis beer. Or fresh cannabis smoothies with chia seeds. I don’t want to get high by drinking my THC. And I don’t want my CBD either to tell you the truth. If it’s already in there that’s fine, as long as it doesn’t ruin the stank of my dank. I just want my weed back. In a plastic sandwich bag or in a sheet of really torn tinfoil preferably. You see, this is what Big Pharma doesn’t realize. If we wanted weed beverages, we would have made them years ago. If we wanted weed pills, we would have made them too. But weed is best when it’s smoked. Pure and simple. The way mother nature intended. Not all processed and packaged into a stupid gel capsule. Give the government a few years and we will no longer be able to smoke weed. Just drink it or pop it in a pill. That’s what they want. There is more money in it for them if they process it first.

 

Reason #11 – You Need a Degree to Sell Weed Now

Now you need a college degree to get into the weed business. If you were a criminal before legalization well guess what? You still are after legalization. In fact, you can’t even be in the weed business. The very industry you helped grow out of nothing, you have been blacklisted from.

And guess who has it now. The people that used to put you in jail for smoking weed. That is who you are buying weed from when you go to a government dispensary. I say screw that. I support my local black market instead.

 

Reason #13 – They Kicked the Emeries Out of the Industry

Marc and Jodie Emery need a mention here. Their stance in front of the government assembly a year ago was a brilliant moment in history. They didn’t sell out. They gave it to them old government cronies good. I highly recommend everyone watch Marc and Jodie tear apart the government’s plan in their own arena. These two people have paid more than their share of dues for weed. I am sure they could have sold out a hundred times and had their names branded on some chain of government weed stores. But they didn’t. So, the government kicks them out of the industry entirely or face life in jail. It’s probably one of the most unjust things Ive ever seen in my life. And its reason #13 why legalization needs to fail in Canada.

 

Reason #14 – They Should Have Let Private Business Handle This

Isn’t it weird how the government has its hand in every legal vice there is? Come to think of it, they made these vices legal so they could get their hands in them. Not for the benefit of society. They wanted the money. All this talk about saving the children and keeping the money out of the hands of criminals is just smoke and mirrors. They should have just stayed out of it and let private business handle the job. I am sure we would have self -regulated our industry just fine. We managed to live this long without them, didn’t we? I mean, would private business lose $42Million in its first year selling weed? Not a chance. But guess what. The OCS managed to lose $42 Million in its first year selling weed. Who loses money selling weed? The government does, that’s who. So much for tax benefits coming back to the people. The taxes didn’t even cover what it cost to takes for the government to hold a Tuesday morning meeting. So bloated and under-productive. They need to get the hell out of business. And that’s reason #14.

 

Reason #15 – They Havent Pardoned Those Who Are in Jail Still for Weed

How mad would you be if you were still sitting in jail on a pot conviction, when society has now deemed your crime as not a crime anymore. It is just more insult on top of insult. I will never understand how we, as Canadians, allow such blatant wrongs, to continue to occur, again and again and again, for years upon years upon years. For shame, Canada. For shame.

 

Reason #16 – The new dispensaries are ridiculous. (Alberta)

I got ID’d twice between entering the store and getting to the teller. Twice! And I am old. How dumb must a person feel when they are told they have to ID an old person? Pretty fucking dumb I bet. Then there are the heroes they hire for these places. Young 20 somethings who think a job in a weed store will be cool. But nope. Wrong again. Its about as cool as working at any other store in a strip mall. Which really isnt very cool at all. And who’s idea was it to make dispensaries look like Apple stores anyways? The pipes they sell are so overpriced its not even funny. I mean, how big is this ‘Soccer Mom with a Gucci bag’ market segment anyways? These stores are certainly not catering to the heavy cannabis user. These stores are waaaaaay to bright. Would a couple black lights kill them? How about a 3d hologram of dogs playing cards or something? How about a huge plasma ball? Hey, how about an actual weed plant? You know, cool shit. I don’t imagine the other provinces being any better.

 

Reason #17– I Was Fine with the way it was.

As I look back now, I was just fine with the way things were. I understood how the game worked. And I could navigate around it pretty well. I could get my weed when I wanted it and everyone just went about their business with out much attention. Now, the whole world is watching us fuck this up. Its embarrassing.

 

Reason #18 – I Miss being part of the Brotherhood of Weed

I miss the brotherhood we used to have when weed was illegal. I miss the silent nods we would give to each other as we, two complete strangers, stood in some bank line together, one of us reeking of a recently smoked joint, the other giving us the club sign, a slight head nod and a smile. We were free. We didn’t live by their dumbass laws. Weed was a sign of freedom. It was illegal as hell to have it, and it stank so bad you might as well shoot off a flare gun with a big flag saying, “hey everybody, I’m smoking weed here”. And that made it a bit dangerous. But I was free to take that risk, knowing it was a dumb law and I could still put my fist up and stick it to the man every time I lit up a joint. That’s how I felt. Fuck you, man. It was my way of showing I was still free from the tyranny of government and their archaic system that moves way to slow for these modern times. It was my way of being a bit of an outlaw. It was my way of showing I don’t like their system. It isn’t working for me. I felt free. Now I just feel dirty.

 

Conclusion

These are the things that came to mind this evening. It wasn’t very hard to find a bunch of reasons why I don’t like legalization. Give me a few more minutes and I bet I can come up with 20 more. I wonder if I could think of 20 reasons why I want legalization to succeed. Right now, I can’t think of even one.

 

Corporate weed sucks.